Lately, I feel as if I have been captured against my will. This is what focusing solely on my studies has done to me... I'm suffocating. I'm not funny anymore. I have become even more boring than I thought myself previously. I have tons of creative thoughts that I feel guilty for thinking, because I should be studying! THIS IS DRIVING ME MAD!! I have had ideas for vlogs & blogs swimming around in my head, but I can't do anything with them, because the Study Sloth* on my back will not leave me alone!
So, now I'm whining, procrastinating, & I have a giant pit in my stomach that seems to want me dead with worry. I could simply go back to my habit of not caring, freaking out, & watching my grades sink back to Bs instead of all the pretty A+s I've been enjoying** , but I like where my grades are right now. I could give up on school & live like a bum on the street (not a happy alternative). OR I could just live with the fact that this is my life now. I detest these options! If only I could have a real break from school instead of working during all of my holidays. Why couldn't I be born a genius or independently wealthy? Life would be so much easier.
The Sloth is angry... I have to study for the 4 tests I have next week or I'm going to flunk out of college & be forced to realize a career as that slightly scary person who sits in the subway station*** with a sign & a cup for change donation. At least my sign would be grammatically correct****...
I hope your week isn't going to be as beastly as mine.
*It's a sloth because sloths are ugly & slow much like a student (me) trying to study effectively.
**This is a sarcastic statement. Enjoy being tortured by the idea that I still have more work to do after I get that one awesome grade. Hardly.
***This plan would require me to move to a place with subways, as I live in the middle of Texas (where everyone (& I mean everyone!) drives). We have no equivalent to this "profession" that I know of.
****She said directly after an atrocious run-on sentence.